Marriage 2: The Unselfish Leader




The unselfish leader – Everyone wants their marriage to work! So a good question would be; What makes a marriage work?” In my last video, I mentioned that I would touch on three things that make a marriage work and so here is the first. For a marriage to work you need someone to be the leader.  From work situations, sports teams, to government we understand the value of a leader. And so it is with marriage.

The Bible teaches that the husband is to be the leader.  This is not some chauvinistic dictator but someone who is an unselfish leader.  In my own home, you could say that I am the president but my wife is the Executive Vice president. Trust me when I say that she is extremely competent to lead and we are in a partnership together.

When you read the scriptures in Ephesians 5 it puts the onus on the husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Two words stand out from that chapter.

  1. Be sensitive: also means that if our relationship is stale or there are problems – then that responsibility lies with me to address it and correct it – even if I think the fault is with her.  The Scripture says that I am to love my wife just in the same way that Christ loved the church and we know that He gave his life for the church.
  2. Be her servant:  You can’t escape the reality that the Jesus style of leadership is all about being a servant. When I asked my wife to marry me what I was really asking was for the privilege of being her servant.  A servant is one who puts the interest of the one they are serving ahead of themselves. Are you getting the picture?

In all my years of marriage counseling, I can never recall a woman coming into my office complaining that her husband served her too much. Think about that…

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